What is Love?

August 5, 2020August 5, 2020 ~ A. K. Stapelman ~ Leave a comment

Love.

It has a different meaning to every one. It’s a measurement of how one human cares for another. It’s one of the easiest things to feel and also one of the most painful.

To me, it’s unconditional. There are no boundaries when it comes to loving another. You accept all their flaws. As you accept all that is good about them.

And yet, love can hurt. It can cause your heart to be torn. Your soul to be scared.

So why do we search so hard for love? Why is it so important to us?

Knowing all we do about love. Knowing that this single person holds your heart in their hands. Why do we do it? Why do we chase it? And when we find it, why is it so hard for us to REALLY see it before it’s gone?

Love. One of the most beautiful, wonderful feelings in the world.

Love. The one feeling in the world that is different each time. The one feeling in the world that can rise you up or tear you down.

Love.

If you find yourself in love, remember this…

Treat them as if they are your King/Queen. Never make them feel unwanted. Don’t judge them. It’s the little things that matter. Never reject them in anyway. Never make them feel as if they are alone, even when you’re right there with them. Always give them your attention, it costs you nothing but your time. Always be supportive, no matter what. If they take care of you when you’re sick, do the same for them.

And if you are lucky enough to marry the person you love, don’t stop doing what you did to get them.

Love can die. Like all feelings do. To keep love alive you must nurture it. Like you would a garden. You must tend to it every day. You must never forget it. Make it a priority.

Trust me when I say this, if you don’t make the one you are with number one in your life they will not make you number one in theirs.

Love.

I would love to hear your comments and or questions you might have. Seriously, ask away! If you’re an author, or are part of the writing community and would like to be a guest blogger on my blog, feel free to contact me! I would love to have you! Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook and or Instagram!

America’s Independence

July 1, 2020 ~ A. K. Stapelman ~ Leave a comment

1775-1783, the American Revolutionary War, also known as the American War of Independence.

A year after the war started, The Declaration of Independence was written on July 4, 1776 to explain why the thirteen colonies were at war with the Kingdom of Great Britain. This was the first step towards declaring their independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain and thus forming the United States of America.

Seven years after The Declaration of Independence was written, the Treaty of Paris was signed on September 3, 1783, in which Great Britain agreed to recognize the sovereignty of the United States and formally ended the war.

Fought by the original thirteen colonies against the Kingdom of Great Britain. The United States of America fought with the aid of France, Spain, the Dutch Republic, and 13 Native American tribes. Eight years of fighting for America’s Independence cost 25,000-70,000 American lives, 7,000 Frenchmen, 5,000 Spaniards, and 500 Netherlands. For a combined total of 37,000 – 82,500. Great Britain and their allies lost 78,200+ lives. 37,000 – 82,500 lives lost fighting to make America free. 12,500 not even American’s.

Our nation’s freedom, our independence came at a great cost.

This forth of July, the United States of America will be celebrating 244 years of Independence/Freedom from British rule. We are still a young nation. We are still learning, evolving.

Yet we are a strong nation. We are a nation that has many growing pains. A nation that is still learning to love all no matter their race. A nation made up of many different races. There are 650 different ethnic groups in the World, the United States has at least 34** of them. We are a melting pot of diversity.

This July 4th, we celebrate our independence from British rule but we should be celebrating our diversity. Celebrating that America is a nation of immigrants. An America that is truly a nation of many.

Sources used for Article…

How Movies Have Changed Me…

June 24, 2020 ~ A. K. Stapelman ~ Leave a comment

As a child I grew up with the mindset to become a super hero like Luke Skywalker, Wonder Woman, and Lt. Uhura from Star Trek.

As I became a young adult my mindset changed from wanting to save the world and be a super hero to trying to find the perfect love.

Now as a mother of three, grandmother of four my reality is no where close to the movie’s I watched growing up.

Movie’s are made to entertain us. To give us hope. To even sometimes empower us. Movies are made to show us that we don’t always have to be so serious. They show us that kids don’t have to just be homemaker’s or a super hero. It shows us that no matter what color our skin is or what our nationality is you can be whom ever you want to be.

For that hour, hour and half the world can be different…

As one father told his son…

Son: “Can it be done father? Can a man change the stars?”

Father: “Yes, William. If he believes enough, a man can do anything.”

So a young son of a thatcher was given the opportunity to learn from a knight, to become a knight and he changed his stars.

But ‘A Knight’s Tale’ is just one movie out of thousand’s that show us that we too can change our stars, if we believe enough.

Because of movie’s I have higher expectations for myself, for my children, my grandchildren. I want them to be able to change their stars. Become anyone they want to be no matter where they currently are in their lives. I know the world can be a hard place to be in right now. I know the fears we as the human race are facing.

In all this, know that you too can change your stars. You too can become anything you want to be, if you believe enough.

So change your stars! Become the greatest version of yourself.

Writing Full-Time…a simple dream

October 9, 2019June 24, 2020 ~ A. K. Stapelman ~ Leave a comment

I sometimes wish I could write full time. I picture myself sitting at my desk day and day out, typing away, creating one story after another.

I envy other writers who’ve been able to do this. I envy their time. Because for me that is the hardest thing for me to come by, time.

Finding the time to write. If I could write full time I would have all the time I needed. Instead of plugging away in tiny increments.

I remember when I first started on this crazy journey. I thought that my first book would propel me into the world of published author’s. I would have it all, an agent, a publishing house, book tours, etc. I would be able to write full time. I even mapped out how long it would take me to write the Cian McGrath Series! Seriously, I did. If I could just write full time I would be able to push out two maybe three books a year! I would be able to devote time into creating a whole nother series too!

But it didn’t happen that way. I didn’t get picked up by a publishing house, I sure don’t have an agent, and no book tours. Yet that hasn’t stopped me and it won’t.

I could sit here and tell you how to achieve this dream of being a full time writer but I can’t because I haven’t achieved it yet.

I still have to work a full time job to pay my bills.

So I will continue to plug away in tiny increments to finish that one page, that one chapter. And when I’m done, I’ll have another book written.

I may be 90 years old before I am able to finish this series but it will get done.

And if I am lucky enough to be able to write full time, I will write every minute I possibly can.

Purposeful Life

October 2, 2019June 24, 2020 ~ A. K. Stapelman ~ Leave a comment

We all want one. We all strive for it every day. But are we truly living a purposeful life?

Growing up I had no idea what my purpose was in this life, what my destiny was. As I got older I thought is was just to be a parent. But they tend to grow up and need you less and less. Then I got my first digital camera and a whole new world opened up for me. Did I finally find my true purpose? Was this the road I would travel for the rest of my life? No, it wasn’t meant to sustain me. It was meant to open me up for other things apparently.

I realized this when I worked on my first movie as a still photographer. A whole nother world opened up and I found myself craving to be a part of it. It was during that time I started writing my first book. The pleasure, the joy, the excitement I got with each finished chapter brought a whole new purpose to my life.

Fast forward to today. I’ve written four books, two have been self published. And yet I still feel as if I am not living a purposeful life. I crave more. I desire more. But how? How do I achieve that when I don’t know what it is?

I’m not wanting more things, possessions, or even money (though that would be nice, lol.). No, I’m wanting a life that when I wake up in the morning I get excited for what the day holds. Not wishing to go back to bed. I want a life that allows me the freedom to be creative, to pursue my every passion.

I want to create beautiful works. With stories. Written and seen on the screen. I want to inspire others to chase that dream, that passion inside of them. I want to live the purposeful life I hear so much about.

This, right here, is my purpose. This sets my soul on fire. This gets my blood moving. This is what I am meant to do. This is what I will do.

One day, my work will be on the big screen. One day, my work will be on TV.

One day, my work will be read by thousands of people all over the world.

This is my purpose. This is my dream. This is what my soul craves.

My Why…

November 7, 2018June 24, 2020 ~ A. K. Stapelman ~ Leave a comment

I was asked why I created my stories in the first place.
Now this is based off of a post in a writer’s group I am a part of. Here’s the question posted to the group…

What is the gift, or service, at the heart of your business? What do you help people with and how do you want them to feel?

My response was…

Unlike the others, I have no gift or service. My stories don’t provide these things. I can’t say they provide an escape from reality because they are slightly based on just that, reality. So as I sat here reading over everything, I realized that I have nothing to offer my readers except my stories.

One of the author’s in the group responded to this by saying, ‘we all have gifts and you are unique. I challenge you to think about why you created your stories in the first place – there lies your gift.’

So what is my ‘why’? Why did I write the first book?

This is what I normally tell people…

We are always hearing about what happens when our service member’s die in combat but we never hear about what happens to their families afterwards. What their lives are like months, years after they lose a loved one in combat. I wanted to show what MIGHT happen. What one spouse might go through after such a loss. What one family might deal with. That is what my stories are about. How one spouse over came her grief, found her faith, and ended up with a greater mission.

But this why has me rethinking that.

It’s more than I had a story to tell because this is a specific story. This is a story about how one spouse became more than what she was. How she went from grieving for the lost of her true love to fighting for the greater good of mankind. It’s about good verses evil. About faith in something greater than one’s self. About family. About not saving just the souls of billions of human’s but saving the soul’s of those she loves.

Maybe my why is both? Because the stories are both. A mixture of them you can say.

My why…

I wanted to tell a story about what happens after the death of a service member in combat. About how their family survives month, years afterwards. This is a story about how one spouse went from a grieving widow to the savior of mankind.

This is my why.

Horror Writing

October 31, 2018October 26, 2018 ~ A. K. Stapelman ~ Leave a comment

I thought it was only fitting to write about horror on today of all days, lol. Happy Halloween!

If you’ve ever wanted to write a horror novel I’m here to give you a few tips to point you in the right direction.

Read. Yea, I know that every one tells you this but it’s true! Seriously. Read as many horror authors as you can. You can learn so much by reading what others have written. Plus it will help you to know what HAS been written.
Watch movies. Didn’t think I would suggest that, did ya? But I’m not kidding about this one either. Watching a horror movie will give you really good insite into what was going through the writers head as he/she was writing it. The imagination they needed to be able to describe some of the more gruesome effects. How about where they suspend you enough so that the next scene makes you jump or scream?
Write. Your worst nightmare. In detail. Describe everything in the room to how you felt. Paint a picture with your words. And don’t hold back.

Writing a horror novel is like any other novel with the exception of the gruesomeness of it. With a horror novel you have to be more detailed in your telling.

Fleshing out your story…

August 15, 2018August 12, 2018 ~ A. K. Stapelman ~ Leave a comment

Okay, you’ve outlined your story. Got your character’s ready for a new adventure. What next?

Flesh out the story!

I know, I know easier said than done but it is easy!

Whether you use a computer or pen and paper, fleshing out your story is the best part of writing!

This is where you let your imagination take over. This is where you let the character’s have their say. Just write.

The first draft is for you to get everything out. It doesn’t have to be polished. Words don’t have to be spelled correctly, just write!

Write till the stories done. And when you feel like it’s finished, stop, put it away, and come back to it later.

How long you leave the story is up to you. But when you come back to it, read it through. If you find a place that you think needs more, flesh it out. This is the great thing about writing. Getting the story down so that you can go back and add in the things that will make it more.

I do things a little differently.

Once my first draft is finished, I send it to my editor. She’ll do a read through, correct grammer, correct misspelled words, etc. We’ll meet when she’s done, sit down together and fix those things in the story. Then I let it sit for a little bit longer. When I go back, I read it through and make notes on things that need fleshing out more. I fix those in my computer. Print another manuscript out and send it back to my editor, this is my 2nd draft.

I go through this process a few times till I feel that story is done. I have to actually force myself to make it done, otherwise I would continue to add, take away, re add, etc. If I did that I would never publish anything!

Even though fleshing out the story can seem like it’s a painful journey, it really isn’t. You are the creator of your story, no one else. So enjoy the journey along with your character’s.

What I read…

July 25, 2018July 15, 2018 ~ A. K. Stapelman ~ Leave a comment

Anything I can get my hands on! I’ve read Edger Allen Poe, Robert Frost, Jack London, Stephen King, Anne Rice, and Sherrilyn Kenyon. Just to name a few.

My favorite author though is Sherrilyn Kenyon. She’s the reason I started writing again. Truth is, she is my idol.

I love to read books written by female author’s, especially fantasy. When I first started reading fantasy there weren’t a whole lot of female author’s. So finding a female author was something of an adventure in and of itself.

And when I would find one I really liked, I would read everything she wrote. And I mean everything!

Now a day’s though, there a plethora of female author’s to choose from and it’s great! I love seeing the genre filled with great writer’s, male or female. It gives new author’s, like myself, hope and something to inspire towards.

My current reads nowadays has been more learning than for actual pleasure. Cause what better way to learn something, aside from actually doing it, than reading about someone who has already done it.

I love learning new things. I’m a sponge, ready to absorb all kinds of useful knowledge. And why not? Just because we grow older doesn’t mean we can’t learn about something new.

What are you currently reading?

Fantasy Casting…

July 18, 2018July 15, 2018 ~ A. K. Stapelman ~ Leave a comment

Have you ever thought about who would play the character’s in your stories? I have.

I actually find it helps when writing to be able to put a face to my character’s. For me it helps to be able to make them more real and that their actions, mannerisms, and such are more authentic. It also helps to describe them better, lol.

But I like to think up who would play my character’s. Who would best fit for a certain role? Would they bring to the character more or less?

I’m sure we’ve all dreamt of who would play us if a movie was written about us, so why shouldn’t we use the same idea about our character’s?

I’ve even modeled certain character’s after actual people I know. Why? Because I like their character. I like how they react to certain things. The way the joke with other’s or even the way the hold themselves in difficult situations.

In my first book, I Believe, there are two character’s that I modeled after two people I have met. I don’t know them personally, nor have I spent oodles of time with them to know their quirks BUT I liked what I saw in them. I liked the fact that they could possibly play the role. The depth that they could possibly bring to those character’s and make them more than what they are on a piece of paper.

Try it. See how your character’s take on a different dimension. Become more than what they are. You never know, they may actually help you mold your character’s even more.